How to Become a Patient Parent

I am definitely not a patient parent — but it’s a goal of mine everyday, and it’s something I’m dedicated to becoming. Every parent loses his or her patience — it’s a fact of life. There are no perfect angels when it comes to moms and dads — we all get frustrated or angry and lose it from time to time.

But patience can be developed over time — it’s a habit, and like any other habit, it just takes some focus.

List of 10 great tips and methods to help us to become a more patient parent:

1. Count to 10. This one really works. When you feel yourself getting frustrated or angry, stop. Count slowly to 10 (you can do this in your head). When you’re done, most of the initial impulse to yell will go away. Alternatively, if you count out loud to 10, your kids will learn quickly that this is a good sign to run away. :)

2. Deep breaths. This works very well in conjunction with the above tip. Count to 10, and then take three slow, deep breaths. Feel the frustration draining out of you with each breath.

3. Pretend someone’s watching. Pretend you have an audience. You’re less likely to overreact with your child if someone’s there watching your every move.

4. What would my mom do? Using a role model of the most patient people that you know. The best model that I ever think of is my mom. I always think ... “How would my mom handle all of us last time?” And using this role model, I begin to cool down and change my behavior to something more positive.

5. How does this help? When I’m about to say something to my kids, when I can remember, I ask myself, “How does this help my child?” This helps me to re-focus on what’s really important. Yelling or getting angry rarely helps any situation. Must always think of this before yelling or shouting at them. Yelling or shouting is useless and only bring 'side effect' to my kids. My son he learns to yell and shout now. He learns from his mom.

6. Take a break. Often it’s best just to walk away for a few minutes. Take a break from the situation, just for 5-10 minutes, let yourself calm down, plan out your words and actions and solution, and then come back calm as a monk.

7. Teach. This is something that I must learn. I know very well and clear that my kids are just kids — they are not perfect, they do not know how to do things, and they have a lot to learn. I am just like their teacher. I must be patient, and teach them how to do things — even if we have to teach them 10 times before, it might be the 11th time when things click. And we must remember, none of us learn things on the first try either. Find new ways to teach something, and we are more likely to be successful. Think positive.

8. Visualize. This works best if you do it before the frustrating situation comes up. When you’re alone and in a quiet place. Visualize how you want to react the next time your child does something that typically gets you mad. How do you handle the situation? How do you look? What do you say? How does your child react? How does it help your relationship with your child? Think about all these things, visualize the perfect situation, and then try to actually make that happen when the situation actually comes up.

9. Just laugh. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that no one is perfect, that we should be enjoying this time with our kids, and that life should be fun — and funny. Smile, laugh, be happy. Doesn’t always work, but it’s good to remind yourself of this now and then.

10. Think positive. Must always think that you can be a patient mom. Think positive, and we are more likely to be successful.

Bonus tip: JUST LOVE. Instead of reacting with anger, teach yourself to react with love. Your child spills something or has a messy room or breaks your family heirloom? Yells at you or gets in trouble at school? REACT WITH LOVE. IT'S THE BEST SOLUTION.